Midweek Mayhem: It's Alive
Midweek Mayhem is a weekly column discussing horror films of varying sub-genres.
The poster for Larry Cohen's monster baby b-movie proclaims it as "the ONE film you should not see alone". If you're anything like me, this tagline is as alluring as the chance of free money, so naturally I chose Cohen's pseudo-social commentary horror film as the next Midweek Mayhem column. Unfortunately, I didn't heed the poster's advice and did indeed watch it alone. And after ninety excruciating minutes, I found myself longing for a friend to riff on the movie* with, rather than actually sit and focus on the thing. It's certainly not without it's redeeming (read: hilarious) qualities, but in the grand Cohen canon, it ranks fairly low.
The film kicks off with Lenore and Frank Davis cheerily heading to the maternity hospital to give birth to their newest child. Feeling ill at ease, Lenore is admitted quickly and Frank rests with the other fathers-to-be. In the delivery room however, things take a turn for the worst, as Lenore's contractions become violent and the doctors quickly realize her baby is...ALIVE. Well, obviously, but he's also horrifically deformed and has a thirst for blood. Immediately upon breach, the baby massacres the hospital staff and flees through the roof into the dark Los Angeles night. After the Davis' are briefed on the child's condition, Frank joins forces with eager scientists and detectives to stop the monster baby before he kills again.
Daft as it may seem, Cohen plays the film straight as an arrow, with John Ryan (of Class of 1999) and Sharon Farrell (Night of the Comet) playing their characters with Shakespearean gusto, especially in the scenes they share highlighting their marital strife. Lenore longs for her baby in a drugged stupor as Frank skulks about the house in a whiskey haze, paranoid of what the neighbors must think. It's here that the film first lost me, as Frank's character flip flops between melancholy and blood-lusty in nearly every scene. First we'll see him stare off into the distance and shed a tear for the baby's life that will never be, followed immediately by a scene where he agrees with the police that the baby should be blown to smithereens. It's frustrating, as you're constantly watching the story unfold thinking, he wants it dead. Nope, wait, he loves it. Pick a side, Frank.
The nightmare baby itself was designed and created by Rick Baker himself (Men In Black, Wolf, Videodrome) which is shocking as the brief glimpses we see of the creature are terrible. Often presented in this bizarre 'skewed vision' style, the monster literally looks like a Brundle-Fly fusion between a baby and a bodybuilder. An odd aesthetic choice, for sure, and one that never ceases to cause belly laughter. In one particular highlight, the baby is cornered in a sewer system and as he stalks his prey he's highlighted by a police siren light (see below). It's unbelievably shlocky even for Cohen and ultimately renders the film a lifeless comedy.
For those tempted, Scream Factory's It's Alive trilogy is available now. It's a serious box-set and lovingly restored by the label, it's just a pity the film is shittier than a cubicle at a musical festival.
*I'm kidding, of course, don't be an asshole and talk during movies.